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Published on March 14th, 2013 | by Pete


An Apple a Day Keeps the Bailiffs Away

Ipads are brilliant things. They’re fun, shiny, cool, and they do cool stuff. Of course, as with most things, there are always risks. In this case, the risk seems to be children. Not only might they indulge in a bit of Ipad smashing, dunking or eating, they might also go to town on an application, and run up a massive bill.

This is what happened in the case of the Kitchens. Danny Kitchen, five, sweetly asked his parents for their iPad, which they handed over. On reflection, quite a colossal mistake. Danny, who seems to be something of a gamer / professional parent rinser, decided that he would have a session of the friendly sounding game ‘Zombie vs. Ninja’. One day I will write a thorough and detailed post exploring who might be likely to win such a battle, but that day is not today. Whilst Danny happily chopped his way through numerous zombies, he incurred an impressive £1,700 bill. His parents may have wished for a genuine zombie to make an appearance at this time, or that he had stuck to a cheaper car video game.

Danny had achieved this impressive feat by finding his way on to the games online store, and purchasing pricy add-ons, to the tune of £1,710.43. Danny used his ninja like skills to avoid detection until Mrs Kitchen observed her Itunes listing bill, and her credit card company telephoned and asked what on earth was happening. She explained: “Danny was pestering us to let him have a go on the iPad. He kept saying it was a free game so my husband put in the passcode and handed it to him. It worried me when he asked for the password but I had a look at the game it said it was free so I didn’t think there would be a problem. We had lots of visitors in the house and were both a little preoccupied. I woke up Monday morning and looked at my emails and had loads from iTunes. I thought it must be a mistake, so I checked my bank balance online and nothing had been taken out. I thought nothing of it until I my credit card advisor phoned and told me they had authorised the transaction.”

When Mrs Kitchen joined the ninja and zombie related dots, she used the classic ‘wait ‘till your father gets home’ methodology: “I realised what happened and told Danny he’d better get ready for bed and run and hide before daddy got home. He was crying, as the rest of the children were telling him we could have bought a house with the amount he had spent. He started to run and through his tears he turned back and said ‘But where can I hide?’ Bless him – that stopped me being angry but of course it’s a lot of money.”

Danny was tracked down for comment, and mused: “It was a good game.”

Apple have said they’ll refund the money, which is extremely nice of them. There is apparently no truth to the rumour that Danny has already been offered a job in the Apple Marketing Department, or that my wife has read this post and banned me from using the iPad, in case something similar happens. I can however, confirm that ‘Zombie vs. Ninja’ is awesome.

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